Ebook NoDrama Discipline The WholeBrain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child Developing Mind Audible Audio Edition Daniel J Siegel Tina Payne Bryson Random House Audio Books
Ebook NoDrama Discipline The WholeBrain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child Developing Mind Audible Audio Edition Daniel J Siegel Tina Payne Bryson Random House Audio Books

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NoDrama Discipline The WholeBrain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child Developing Mind Audible Audio Edition Daniel J Siegel Tina Payne Bryson Random House Audio Books Reviews
- I ordered this book out of desperation. My grandchildren were acting out in ways that were unsafe (ages 3 and 5 at the time) running near traffic, throwing tantrums. Without reading the entire book, I learned enough to completely turn the situation around. Recent example I pick up my granddaughter from school and she is in her weird mood again, runs down the street and crosses it without me! Once we are in the car, I say, OK, what happened at school today? Nothing, she says. No, you don't usually act like this. What happened? See this scratch, she asks. I tripped over some blocks and three of my friends laughed at me. Behavior changes to normal. The next day I pick up my grandson. I don't rush him out to the car anymore. Instead we have a check in period sitting in the back of the car before we go anywhere. In other words we process their emotional well being before pressing on into this busy world. Huge change!
- I won't bother with the book details, they're well covered in other reviews, so I'll just say that I really can't recommend these enough.
Long story short, "The Whole Brain Child" and it's two companion books by the same authors, "No Drama Discipline", and more recently "The Yes Brain" really have been the most useful parenting books I've encountered. (they are loosely coupled, so you can read any of them individually, in any order)
Of the 40 or so books (and zillion articles, studies, etc.) I gobbled up when we first found out we'd be expecting, these are the ones that really stand out, and that I can most hold up and say "I'm a better parent today than I otherwise would be, because I read this."
These aren't read-once books for me - I still flip through them once in a while, as a refresher, three years later, and will probably continue to revisit them well into the future.
I also make it a habit to gift hardcover copies of all three books to anyone we know who's expecting, along with an offer to buy them the e-book versions instead, if they'd rather have those.
Even the best parents have room for improvement, and I can't really imagine anyone reading any of these without finding something that will add to their parenting skills.
Bottom line, if you believe parenting is a skill to be honed, if you want to parent thoughtfully and intentionally rather than just echoing your own parents methods (which may have been just fine), if you want your parenting to be in tune with the facts and empirical evidence provided by modern psychology and brain-science (which has improved greatly over the last 20 years or so), and if you want a better understanding of how your child's mind works, how you can best guide that mind for long-term success, then please don't miss these books.
What else can I say? Seriously, just buy the book - buy all three, if you can.
Your kids will probably never thank you for reading them, but they should =o) - With a just-turned-two-year-old who was just starting into furious tantrums about pretty much every tiny disappointment (coming inside, getting into her car seat, leaving a room, dropping a toy, being asked not to throw things at the dog, etc., etc.), I was very eager to get some new ideas beyond the standard "just ignore it" advice. In addition to the frustration tantrums, she was also going through a spell of pinching, hitting and biting, and nothing (ignoring, separating, time-outs, scolding, yelling, earnest explanations, dirty looks, attempts at redirection) was really helping with that. In fact, most attempts just seemed to escalate the bad behavior.
In just a couple of weeks, the advice in this book has really turned around my interactions with my daughter and has enabled me to almost universally nip her tantrums in the bud. As a work-at-home parent, this translates to more happiness, greater productivity, and much, much less stress.
I can't speak to how well this will work with older children with better verbal skills (but since the crux of it is paying attention and connecting, it seems like good advice even for dealing with adults), but with a toddler with a pretty good ability to understand but quite a limited vocabulary and ability to express herself verbally, this method has worked wonders.
Most of the trick is in the nanosecond before you react--simply asking yourself why. Why is my kid being a jerk? Usually the answer is obvious (in our case, she wants either attention or some object/situation she can't have), but being mindful of the cause shades your response just enough to connect. In the past, if I just tried to put her off for a few minutes to finish my task, her distress would quickly escalate and she would become whiny, clingy and a little insufferable.
While it does take more effort to actually engage instead of acting on autopilot, I'm learning that a little upfront investment (like, seriously, a minute or two) of genuine connection at attention when my toddler just starts to go sideways can put out the fire and quickly yield plenty of extended, quiet play. Magic.
The practical tips of just taking a second to physically connect, make eye contact, offer a moment of comfort, etc., before explaining and redirecting make the process easier. And the authors' trick of pointing out how much if it would annoy you if someone was treating you in the same way really helps internalize the flaws in the conventional parenting advice. I also like they detailed distinctions between giving love/attention/setting boundaries and spoiling (e.g., shielding child from negative feelings/situations, never requiring accountability, making excuses, or giving the kid too much *stuff*).
While, like all self-help books, the same basic ideas are repeated many different ways, and you can start to feel like "okay, okay, I *get* it," I do feel like the repetition and examples did help me internalize the methods, and--just as importantly--helped give me a good enough sense of it to explain the concepts well to my partner (I'm the reader/filterer of the parenting books in our family). The other upshot is that hammering the ideas into your brain really does help stop you when you start to react in your default, autopilot way, so you as a parent can stop your own bad behavior and model how a smart, thoughtful person should act, even if wise choices don't always come naturally ;).
Good stuff, and effective. - Even though I do agree with the whole brain approach and that discipline means teaching not punishing, I thought the book was very redundant. I felt like I did get something from the book so I gave it 3 stars. There are some key elements that I will keep in mind like "connecting before redirecting" so you "don't poke the lizard".
- The advice is good but there was no reason to stretch this book to over 200 pages.
- I was a first time parent when I read this and there was a lot of good information. It can even help your interactions with adults as well.
- Love the research behind this parenting philosophy. This approach is a breath of fresh air as I forge a different path in parenting than my parents
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